The art of complaining effectively

Marcus Aurelius said “Don’t be overheard complaining…Not even to yourself”. I think about this statement a fair bit. Stoics believe complaining is pointless since that is time wasted when it could be spent improving personally.

Complaining in most cases is bad. When you just complain all the time it is a major mental drain on yourself and people surrounding you. Merely complaining helps no one and breeds negativity.

However, there are a couple of positives to complaining -

• Sometimes you just need to get things off your chest, feel better and move on. This is something you should use strategically because otherwise it can very easily fit into the previous category of mindless complaining.

• Other times, it shows that you don’t believe in the status quo. For whatever reason, the current scenario isn’t to your liking and you are going against the tide.

The big question here is “so what?”. What you do next will likely determine the type of person you are. You know how they say “there are no wrong answers”? Unfortunately in this case there is a wrong answer. If you continue to complain, you will not inspire any confidence in people to believe or follow you. On the other hand, if you like to think of it as a way to redirect the problem towards a solution, that busts a big door of possibilities . Rather than just complain and whine about something, presenting an alternative or a solution to the situation helps bring purpose to it. Your ability to come equipped with a solution without being asked to, shows that you have initiative.

The more senior you get, the more this is imperative. Your ability to be an effective senior is predicated on spotting scenarios that are not optimal for your team or codebase coupled with a knack for identifying solutions for them. It doesn’t have to be perfect. You, your peers or your boss can build on top of it and get it to a viable place.

This is not just a career-motivated tactic but a way to breed the right character. If you want to be seen as a problem solver, a go-getter, someone who can be depended on to think of the greater good - you have to come to the table with something besides just grievances. When you think about complaining, take a second to think about how you could contribute to making the situation better, either through yours or someone else’s actions and you are now on the path of effective complaining.